Monday, December 7, 2015

Elf on the Shelf

Most of my Facebook friends have kids, so over the last few days my newsfeed has been overrun with adorable pictures of the adventures their elves have been having--or with friends sharing the article about how their kids won't have Elf on the Shelf because they are too lazy or most recently with the friends whose elves have "broken legs" and can't move without the magic healing that comes from several days of good behavior. I'd probably fall into the too lazy category if I had kids, but I do think the idea is cute: the elf watches the kids' behavior through the day, reports back to Santa, and then comes back and hides in a new place for the kids to find him/her the next day.

Lately, I've been wishing there was a pet version of Elf on the Shelf because Barley and Soth seem to have forgotten that Santa Paws is watching.

Soth has been waking up at the crack of dawn every. single. day. My Up band, which tracks sleep in addition to steps, has been yelling at me because I've been waking up at least 3 times per night every night for the last week--all because some little cat has been jumping onto various surfaces and trying to clear them of books, glasses, jewelry, bottles of lotion, or whatever other items he doesn't think should be there so he can tell me he needs to be fed RIGHT NOW. Heaven forbid his bowl be empty for more than 30 seconds.

"I have no idea what you could be referring to and I'm appalled that you'd even suggest such a thing."

I promise he does not stay like this all night.
Yesterday morning, I scooped him up the third time he woke me up, put him on his special blanket at the food of the bed, and sternly said, "If you wake me up again, you will be out on the streets." (Have I mentioned I'm not a morning person?) He listened and stayed in bed until I woke up two hours later. An elf would probably have been a friendlier reminder to be on his best behavior than my stern--but empty--threat.

Barley has been equally naughty lately. One of my favorite things is clean sheets. There is nothing I love more than snuggling into clean sheets on the first night they are on the bed. This weekend, I put clean sheets on the bed and was very much looking forward to enjoying them at the end of the day. When I wandered into the bedroom that afternoon, I noticed that my nicely made bed had been unmade--while nobody was caught in the act, I am fairly certain it was my little burrowing dog.

And that same little burrowing dog, has also decided that she can't wait until Christmas to see what her Aunt Lindsey is getting. I'd hidden the box that Aunt L's present was in under my bed so she wouldn't find it while she was here for Thanksgiving and Barley didn't mess with it once during the two weeks it was there. Then yesterday, I moved it into the spare room with all of the other gifts I'll need to take to my parents' house in a couple weeks so that it doesn't get forgotten. As I was grading papers, I heard a shredding noise. When I went into the spare room, I found Barley very busy trying to tear the corner off of the box. 

Clearly the darlings don't know that Santa Paws is watching their every move and deciding if they deserve any new toys for Christmas. I wonder if an elf would help them to remember.


  1. Haha, Maddux was rotten in the store after his picture with Santa. Literally pulled treats, toys, and sweaters off the shelf. Must be something in the air.

    1. He was probably just trying to shop for his cousins ;)